TAE A FERT

Oh whit a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie

Jist as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts tae stir an enormous win'

The neeps 'n' tatties 'n' mushy peas
Stert workin' like a gentle breeze

But soon the puddin' wi' the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place

Nae maiter whit the hell ye dae
A'bodys gonnae hiv tae pay

Even if ye try tae stifle
It's like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try an' stop the leakin' air

Shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it disnae reek

But aw yer efforts go assunder
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder

Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me a sonic boom

God almichty it fairly reeks
Hope a huvnae s**t ma breeks

Tae the bog a better scurry
Aw whit the hell, it's no ma worry

A'body roon aboot me chokin
Wan or twa are nearly bokin

A'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile

Wis him! A shout wi' accusin glower
Alas too late, he's jist keeled ower

Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
A dinnae feel welcome ony mair

Where e'er ye be let yer wind gang free
Sounds like jist the job fur me

Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' wan wee farty

robert burns aint that poet dude, i went to his house on some skool trip when i was like 10..

was a pretty cool tour from wot i remember..had these mad wee head phone things....

state of the art.... when ur 10