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greg Honourary Member

Joined: 20 August 2004 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 2865
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Posted: 21 Febuary 2006 at 5:50pm | IP Logged
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my first proper one on friday. with a posh accountancy firm.
any tips you men of the world can offer me.
__________________ "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on"
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[D]esert Punk 1337 Community Member

Ex-Member
Joined: 30 June 2005 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 1692
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Posted: 21 Febuary 2006 at 6:13pm | IP Logged
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where a suit and shake their hand when u enter and leave :P
Edited by [D]esert Punk on 21 Febuary 2006 at 6:13pm
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Captain_Oompa Honourary Member


Joined: 29 March 2005 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 1554
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Posted: 21 Febuary 2006 at 7:45pm | IP Logged
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wear colone, wink at them alot, act shy then crack a very crude joke......
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Grizzler Site Admin

Janitor
Joined: 13 Febuary 2003 Location: Norway Posts: 5192
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Posted: 21 Febuary 2006 at 9:53pm | IP Logged
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Do what they did in the IT crowd ep 1.. outstare them :P
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killah Honourary Member


Joined: 17 July 2005 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 449
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Posted: 21 Febuary 2006 at 9:55pm | IP Logged
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Take my advice, don't take any of these guys advices.
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TheFraggle Clan Member


Joined: 23 January 2003 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 661
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Posted: 21 Febuary 2006 at 10:58pm | IP Logged
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killah wrote:
Take my advice, don't take any of these guys advices. |
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Apart from Dessy's, and dont use ya hands to talk, in other words, put ya hands on ya lap, and keep them there!!
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I Fank Ewe
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Nhumrod Site Admin

Clan Leader & GM
Joined: 09 September 2002 Location: Scotland Posts: 13897
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Posted: 21 Febuary 2006 at 11:59pm | IP Logged
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If its a guy you meet give him a quite firm handshake (sounds cliched but true)
Make lots of eye contact but dont stare
Just relax and answer the questions as honestly as possible (if you lie they will know)
If they ask you a question you arent sure how to answer just ask if you can come back to it while you have more time to think about it
Try to enjoy it and remember its all a learning experience!
__________________ There is no IRL, there's just AFK.
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hamble Honourary Member

Middle Eastern Terrorist
Joined: 03 August 2003 Location: Bahrain Posts: 1054
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Posted: 22 Febuary 2006 at 7:39am | IP Logged
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Wear a hawiian shirt and take coconuts filled with milk for everyone. Refer to the receptionist as 'Chief' or 'Honey', depending on their sex. Greet the interviewer with a high-five and a "S'up dude!" Sit back in the chair with your legs wide open and start all your answers with "Yeah, I've done / can do that... now let me ask *you* a question!" Ask about benefits. Ask if you can have a company car, and if it can be a Monster Truck. Ask about Dental and explain you regularly get into fights. Ask about their policy on drugs and alcohol, specifically on random testing. Ask if the receptionist is single, whatever their sex is. Answer your mobile phone at least twice, each time with a different voice and attitude.
When it's over, hug the interviewer and say "I'll see you on Monday, Big Fella!"
Whatever happens, turn up on Monday.
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Puss Honourary Member


Joined: 04 August 2003 Location: Scotland Posts: 1518
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Posted: 22 Febuary 2006 at 8:26am | IP Logged
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Lmao Hammie! I have an interview tomorrow, so decent tips (ala Demon's and Dessies) v. welcome.
__________________ You're about as useful as a cock flavored lollipop.
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ScotzMan 1337 Community Member


Joined: 06 August 2003 Location: Scotland Posts: 2163
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Posted: 22 Febuary 2006 at 9:33am | IP Logged
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im gonna get a job interview just so i can do hambles....
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Richie Moderatus

Moof!
Joined: 09 September 2002 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 1643
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Posted: 22 Febuary 2006 at 11:15am | IP Logged
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smile, be pleasant, make small talk and engage the other person/people, often they are looking for not only the best candidate but who will fit in with the atmosphere and attitude of the company and therefore work best in that environment
be confident even if your not feeling particually confident, being a bit nervous is fine, but dont let it get in the way of talking to them
be honest, or as close to it as you can be,
make sure you know what you put on any application form or CV, if you lied on that, be sure you know what you said as they may ask you to expand on some points in it, and talk about what exactly happened
have some examples that are relevant to the job, i.e what you have done in the past that was successful, what might have gone wrong and how you reacted to that, standard stuff like that,
think of a couple of questions you can ask them about the role, they may cover the obvious, even if they do maybe try to get them to expand on some of the areas you know less about so that you at least show an interest
and enjoy it, these things get easier with practice, so do try to think of what they may ask you, there are loads of websites that cover standard uestions, so get googling and read up, nothing makes it easier than knowing the answers to the questions they ask!
__________________ MOOPH!
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TheGouldFish Honourary Member

The Mapper
Joined: 05 June 2003 Location: Scotland Posts: 3456
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Posted: 22 Febuary 2006 at 12:54pm | IP Logged
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I have to admit I have no advice to give, some how I've managed to get all my jobs so far with either no or very small interviews.
All I can say is turn up smart, and 5 mins early, read up ont the compainy and try to have atleast one question to ask at the end.
__________________ TheGouldFish
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Fear the Fish
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Captain_Oompa Honourary Member


Joined: 29 March 2005 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 1554
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Posted: 22 Febuary 2006 at 1:28pm | IP Logged
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rofl hamble 
you'll go far in life....
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WeeDHunteR Public Member


Joined: 22 October 2005 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 53
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Posted: 22 Febuary 2006 at 4:27pm | IP Logged
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go stoned out ya face get there offer then some of ur finest jamican black then ask if they have any rochs if they do they like u! if not tell em to....
__________________ |dont| |drink| |drive| |smoke| weed| |and| |fly|
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TheFraggle Clan Member


Joined: 23 January 2003 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 661
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Posted: 22 Febuary 2006 at 4:43pm | IP Logged
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rofl at Hammie
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hamble Honourary Member

Middle Eastern Terrorist
Joined: 03 August 2003 Location: Bahrain Posts: 1054
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Posted: 26 Febuary 2006 at 6:48am | IP Logged
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So how'd it go Greg? Did you do everything I suggested?
Don't forget to turn up tomorrow...
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greg Honourary Member

Joined: 20 August 2004 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 2865
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Posted: 27 Febuary 2006 at 2:29pm | IP Logged
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Nope, but I got offered the job this morning 
Now to decide if I do this or a PHD...
__________________ "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on"
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Puss Honourary Member


Joined: 04 August 2003 Location: Scotland Posts: 1518
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Posted: 27 Febuary 2006 at 2:36pm | IP Logged
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Congrats Matey! Nice decision to have!
__________________ You're about as useful as a cock flavored lollipop.
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greg Honourary Member

Joined: 20 August 2004 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 2865
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Posted: 27 Febuary 2006 at 10:06pm | IP Logged
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Thanks, yeah it's nice, didn't expect to be in this position in the slightest 6 months ago.
__________________ "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on"
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Nhumrod Site Admin

Clan Leader & GM
Joined: 09 September 2002 Location: Scotland Posts: 13897
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Posted: 28 Febuary 2006 at 4:40pm | IP Logged
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congrats mate! 
__________________ There is no IRL, there's just AFK.
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