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Sirwomble
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| Posted: 23 January 2006 at 9:37pm | IP Logged
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Welcome to Wombles new thread Post-a-Joke.
Please feel free to post your jokes but please remember we do have youngsters that access the site (poor Mashy).
Feel free to post as many as you like .
Ill start this thread off with my joke for today .
How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
When she has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her pencil
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Mash-Tin_UK
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| Posted: 23 January 2006 at 9:38pm | IP Logged
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*cough*
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TheFraggle
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| Posted: 23 January 2006 at 9:40pm | IP Logged
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What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever
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Mash-Tin_UK
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| Posted: 23 January 2006 at 11:03pm | IP Logged
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hahaha,
Two blondes walk into a building...
One of them should of seen it..
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hamble
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 6:54am | IP Logged
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What kind of bees make milk?
Boobees!
hahahahahahahaha that's one of my favourite jokes!
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greg
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 7:06am | IP Logged
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Man walks into a bar with a slab of tarmac under his arm.
"A pint please landlord. And one for the road."
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Puss
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 8:16am | IP Logged
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What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant!
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Captain_Oompa
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 9:48am | IP Logged
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why did the blonde go on top of the roof....
She thought the drinks were on the house..
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TheFraggle
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 10:05am | IP Logged
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Have you noticed yet, that all the jokes seam to be about blondes!!!
GREAT ISN'T IT!!! 
I went to see a shrink the other day wearing cling film round my waist.....he said i can clearly see your nuts!!!
hehehehe
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Captain_Oompa
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 10:51am | IP Logged
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blonde jokes are most popular...... and its the only ones i know
besides its true....
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TheGouldFish
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 12:04pm | IP Logged
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Man : Doc I think I hvae that bird flu
Doc : What makes you think that
Man : I've started wearing makeup, I talk bollocks and I can park the car.
Another good one.
I did have another one but demon posted it in a nother thread!! Damn you
Here you go.
What is the differance between a pile of dead babies and a lotus.
I don't have lotus in the garage.
And another sick one for you all:
whats black and blue and does not like sex.
The little boy in my shead.
Edited by TheGouldFish on 24 January 2006 at 12:06pm
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Puss
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 12:10pm | IP Logged
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Why did the pastie walk into the pub?
He was meat 'n' potato.
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Puss
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 12:10pm | IP Logged
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Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field.
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Sirwomble
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 12:19pm | IP Logged
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Lovin your work guys ...fraggle the cling film joke made me lmfao.
heres mine :-
Two snow men; one says to the other:
"can you smell carrots?"
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Captain_Oompa
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 2:29pm | IP Logged
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whats worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree.....
a dead baby nailed to 10 trees
 .... my mates joke
always makes everyone shut up if followed after a minute of sinister laughing.....
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Puss
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 2:43pm | IP Logged
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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
2 litres of low fat milk
a carton of eggs
2 litres of orange juice
a head of lettuce
half a dozen tomatoes
a 500g jar of coffee
a 250g pack of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cos you're ugly."
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ChiefDM
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 3:22pm | IP Logged
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Frogs....
You just can't trust these creatures!
A young lady, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet.
As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs.
The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only £20 each! Money Back Guarantee!
Comes with complete instructions."
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her
and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one."
The man packages the frog and says, "Just follow the instructions."
The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her flat, she reads
the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly
what is specified:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the
frog to follow its training.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise,
nothing happens!
The girl is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She
re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it
says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet
store."
So, the lady calls the pet store. The man says, "I'll be right
over." Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell.
The lady welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything
according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there."
The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly
into its eyes and sternly says:
"Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more
time!"
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Mash-Tin_UK
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 3:43pm | IP Logged
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ROFL oompa mate, that roof one is hilarious , and all the others are bloody funny too!
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TheGouldFish
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very good ChiefDM.
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greg
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| Posted: 24 January 2006 at 6:25pm | IP Logged
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DON'T READ THE PUNCHLINE FIRST !!
Good ol' Count Dracula is on the pull in London. He spends the night drinking Bloody Mary's in various clubs and biting on unsuspecting women's necks.
He is heading for home, wandering around Covent Garden sometime before sunrise. Suddenly he is hit on the back of the head. He looks round and sees nothing. He looks down and sees a small sausage roll.
Mmmm, he thinks What's going on here. A few yards further on and .. BANG. Smacked on the back of the head again!
He whirls round as quick as he can, nothing. Again he looks down and there is a small triangular sandwich lying on the ground.
How odd!!
A few yards further along the street and ... crash. Smacked on the back of the head again!! He whirls round as quick as he can, nothing. He's getting really angry now. Again he looks down and there is a cocktail sausage lying on the ground.
He stands and peers into the darkness of the night. Nothing. He walks a few yards further on when he gets a tap on the shoulder. With a swirl of his cape and a cloud of mist he turns as fast as he can.
He feels a sharp pain in his heart. He falls to the ground clutching his chest, which is punctured by a small cocktail stick laden with a chunk of cheese and a pickle. On the ground dying, he looks up and sees a young female.
With his dying breath he gasps, "Who Are You ? She replied "I'm Buffet, the vampire slayer"
Edited by greg on 24 January 2006 at 6:27pm
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|SFH| Sent From Hell :: Community Forums : The Lounge
Topic: Post-A-Joke (
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